No ordinary day

This was not an ordinary Tuesday. Usually I listen to Howard Stern every morning, but he's on vacation this week so I turned to my preset #2. As I cross the Pensacola Bay I wonder what today will bring and this song comes on: U2 Stuck in the Moment- The words of the song gave me a little momentum to get out of my moment, because this time will pass. I am preparing for a big event tomorrow and as such I became the bitch worker for another. I managed to swallow the lump of reality and made it noon. Woohoo, halfway through the day. You've got to get yourself together, you've got stuck in the moment and can't get out if it playing over and over in my head. But I get a call that my munchkin is sick and fell asleep during yoga class. First of all, my kid doesn't fall asleep without complete darkness and silence, not a bunch of 4 year old kids attempting a tree pose.

The moment of the day came as my potential new boss was in the lobby of our office with his wife and kid and my current boss peering over her classes to see who was congregating....nothing like getting the eye roll from said current boss and potential new bosses wife at the same time!

Then the great news....we are handcuffed to this place with the bail set at $17,000.

Maybe ordinary is over rated.

St. Joseph

Yesterday we decided to tackle the insane job of cleaning out the front area around the entry of our house. For those that know me, I HATE yard work, but I did it. Ryan helped in her special way; dress and heels.

so the area of concern...

during the excavation I found the statue of St. Joseph...the Saint, you bury in your yard when you want to sell your house.....(which we kind of want to sell our house, but now he is sitting in my kitchen; is this bad luck?)I just realized I didn't take pictures of the aftermath.

But the weekend ended well!

Braking the BRAT!

Our Friday night family date night ended about 2 hours early tonight. It happened after repeating "sit down" ten time, "eat your dinner" seven times, "stop moving" five times, then she spit- at me! The consequence for her actions "we are not going to the playground!" We walked along the shore and everything was as usual until we came to the area where were parked, and we started to exit the beach. A band was playing and we sat down to enjoy the music. Our parental logic was, we'll keep our threat of no playground, but we'll at least enjoy ourselves. However, that logic backfired! After a verbal altercation with a four year old, we decided it was time to go. Holy shit, I think the devil was in the partially eaten mac & cheese!
This cute little girl started to scream as if we were strangers and her life was in danger. Kicking, screaming, kicking screaming....you could hear her across the parking lot. She hit Justin in the process of getting her strapped in her seat. Snot and tears rolling in her mouth, still kicking and screaming like we had jut beat her. She yelled "I don't love you" "you upset me" and then she spits again. A stern warning not to spit again, apparently was not heard and she spit three times. We were stopped at a stop sign, and I unbuckled my seat belt, got out of the car, opened the back door and popped her leg! I did it, I gave her a real spanking! " You hurt me!" she yelled.
We had a few more "I don't love you" and "you upset me" and then it came out like I had practiced this line before. "If you spit again Ryan you will not go to the birthday party tomorrow!" She spit! And I grounded a 4 year old.

I tried to record this incident, but Justin said that was ridiculous and not to patronize her.

She calmed down and out of nowhere, so said "momma I am sorry for spitting on you". And like any good parent would do, we made her call the only person she loves more than us- GiGi and made report her bad behavior. Hopefully it worked and we broke the brat!

I don't know where I'm gonna go

It's official, Pensacola Beach is closed for swimming and wading. An actual tear came to my eye as I write; is this end or the beginning? For such a long time- 64 days to be exact- I have been in a somewhat state of denial. Hoping the oil would just disappear, but knowing all along it was coming. The black tide taking away the precious shore of sugar.
I read comments of good tidings, well wishes and volunteers offering their time, but what can really be done? BP, bless their heart, is doing a good job of employing the unemployable for hazardous cleanup; rather promptly I might add. So far I have not seen the oiled birds or dead fish, so no need for friends of the wildlife to come clean with dawn and paper towels. The only thing we need is for people to come and visit....see for yourself.
Maybe I should start a tour guide around the bay "to your left you will see yellow boom and on the right, that's orange boom, we pronounce that ur-ange". See the oiled bird? don't touch it! you may only take pictures. And btw that bird is really a prop for ABC,CBS and NBC. see that boat, their not cleaning it is a photo op for a wanna be politician. Thanks for touring our environmental waste land and we hope you don't currently suffer from heart disease, chronic lung infections, pulmonary disorders or any other breathing issues, cause you gonna die, sorry no refund!"
So the last paragraph was just an attempt to humor myself.

Here's a little ray of contaminated sunshine; we are among the lucky few to score tickets to the FREE Jimmy Buffett and friends concert.....so I guess I know where I'm gonna go when the oil hits the shore.

A good day!

For the first day in 60 I managed to not read or watch any news of the oil. I enjoyed my day roaming around the greater Jackson area. I made a stop at ole stomping ground- the chamber. Then I had an awesome lunch at Local 463 in Madison with my Mississippi mom. Followed by several stops at various stores. I was alone and I enjoyed being able to just run in and look. It's hard with Ryan, its so much work just getting her in and out that shopping is not worth it.

As the day turned into evening we met our dear friends at Pan Asia for martinis and sushi. We made to the International Ballet Competition only to find a grumpy little girl that had no desire to watch ballet. We managed to make it to intermission and then called it a night.

So, I post to say....I had a good day.

Talk, talk, talk

I'm listening to the President; he's actually referring to me and my community. But, it's just talk! He speaks well, and I want to believe him. He called us unique- not sure if he meant it as a compliment or an adjective.
This is painful, real and true pain. Having a personal pep rally will not fix this. I don't know if I have it in me to stay and see this pain to the door. I don't love this city enough to give it anymore of my time, talent and mental well being.
The mortgage statement that arrives every month has me handcuffed to this situation. I guess it is my choice to rise or go out with the tide.

Just so we're clear, going out with the tide is not bad!

Monday- Day 56

I am mad!
I am sad!
I am scared!
I feel helpless!
I feel frustrated!
I am ready to explode!

The "leader" of this country is coming to my town tomorrow. I have been notified of the road closures for the motorcade, and I have "police line do not cross" yellow tape and barricades outside my office window. Dude, unless you have a magic absorbent sheet with a 40 mile diameter don't bother wasting our time.

Thoughts for the Day

Pensacola is still gloomy, although the sun is shining brightly and not a cloud in the sky. My mantra for the last few months has been “in purgatory”…. I was referring to my work, but find it appropriate for the situation on our coast. Caught between heaven and hell……. Heaven is the once beauty of our white sand and emerald green water and hell is black tide creeping in on us.

I laugh when I read that the CEO of BP says he wants his life back; don’t we all dude! BP has said they will pay claims for “real damage” done. Please define "real damage": damage to my mental well being? Damage to the moral of my office? Damage to my appetite for seafood? How do you put a price tag on that?

I just want to eat some shrimp!

Here's a little ray of sunshine

See For Myself

Yesterday we woke up to heat! The air conditioner had gone out...again. It happens every year about this same time. It is the reason we maintain our home warranty and thank goodness because it covers everything but the service call. Anyways, we had an entire day to fill and needed a place for the night. We decided to stay at the beach; a great excuse to spend some time with our precious beach before more oil arrives.

We played in the water for about 15 minutes. The waves were rolling, but no oil! We walked to and from the hotel and the only thing we saw out of place were the camera crews. The hotel was packed- it could be from all the TV media outlets, but who cares it's money (heads in beds, as the tourism industry says).

But the good news is............THE BEACH IS OPEN! Let's just hope it stays that way.

Serenity

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.

Sounds easy enough, but its not.

With the endless news coverage, the new closure of our bay for harvesting shellfish, the patches of "oil mousse" on the beach I can't help but feel sad. Life as we know it here on the gulf coast has changed. Hopefully it is just a temporary change, but based on science its a long term catastrophic disaster, unlike any we have ever seen. As I watched the oil gushing last night I literally got sick to my stomach.

Yesterday, Ryan and I took a little detour on the way home. We headed over the bridge to the beach and I saw 3 coastguard helicopters -carrying what I later learned was our governern and others- going up and down the coast line looking at the approaching sheen. We pulled into Casino Beach and cruised the parking lot, just one of many locals out with their cameras to capture the other side of the tv reporters. At least a dozen satlelite trucks lined the sidewalk, tents errected with video equipment and staging areas for the crew. I circled the parking lot debating on whether or not to get out, but I just couldn't. It was hard to explain to Ryan what were doing, and thought it would be better to just stay in the car.

Needless to say today is a somber day.

I think I have said it before, but it's like a train wreck in super slow motion.

Welcome Back

I recently realized how much I have missed posting my thoughts and crazy ideas. I have a lot of things rolling around in my head and thought I should dump some out....it's getting crowded up there.

The Happenings of Hope will be just that, the happenings in my life. I used to blog on our website and my post became so infrequent Justin, my loving husband cancelled the site. He has assured me all the content is safe and sound. I hope to re-post, as some of the entries are my best work.

I will do my best to keep this updated at least twice a week, ok at least once a week.

Here is a recent picture of my big girl; who is 4 now!